Crystal Skulls and Critical Thinking

Unfortunately, I’m a science fiction fan! Not to the extreme of course; I have never attended a movie donning a cape, lightsaber, or Hogwart’s robe, but I like that genre of movie. And if I had to pick two favorite movie series that fall under the criteria of what I like to watch, it would have to be the Indiana Jones series and the Star Wars series.

I was flipping through the channels the other night and Sci-Fi channel had a special on crystal skulls which I thought would be interesting with the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull movie opening a few days later. I was wrong.

First of all, the head researcher was also founder and president of the International Crystal Skull Research Society or something equally as retarded. He made all sorts of outlandish claims as to the “magical” properties of the skulls and explained his “rigorous” scientific experiments.

When confronted with the fact that one quartz crystal skull was manufactured with a rotary tool, obviously not an ancient Mayan tool, he quickly retorted, “There’s something about carving a human skull out of crystal that gives it innate magic properties.”

Yeah, you’re looney.

The television special further offended my ability to think rationally by deconstructing and regurgitating a modified Mayan prophecy that twelve crystal skulls placed at twelve “magical” sites, which they of course scientifically explained because of the increased gravitational activity at these sites. Like hell. I’m a nursing major but I at least know that gravity is pretty much constant.

They went so far as to say these skulls were crafted by aliens, gave us power, blah blah blah…

At this point I was so disgusted I turned the channel because what started as a mildly amusing story turned into an intelligence-draining documentary. It even made me enjoy the new Indiana Jones movie even less.

And don’t even get me started on the other documentary show Ghost Hunters. If you watch long enough and hard enough, the researcher will feel cool breeze or a spine-tingling sensation. Perhaps it’s side effects from the malignant tumor pressing on the “common sense” portion of their brains.

If you need to fill time Sci-Fi channel, just play Star Wars again. At least no one’s pretending that that’s real. Plus it’s fun to mute it and make up your own words.